Regretting Leaving
A key finding of this study is that a feeling of regret to be leaving the service role both contributes to poor job satisfaction in the post-service environment as well as maintaining the connection to the service role. This is connected to Lévy-Garboua and Montmarquette’s (2004) work on cumulative employment experiences over time that inform decisions about whether roles would be chosen again, and the way in which individuals can rank their job experiences from most to least favourable. Amongst the participants there are some simple regrets, such as leaving the money or leaving colleagues who were friends. But there are also some much deeper levels of regret. Knowing the reasons for leaving and, with an understanding that the participants did not always view it as voluntary, direct questioning was conducted as to how each participant regarded leaving the service role, and whether they would go back if they were given the opportunity. Skye stated the following when asked directly if she regretted leaving, ‘absolutely, breaks my heart still because you just don’t find the… you just don’t, I’m kind of institutionalised, you just don’t find the same workplace outside of Navy’. Natalie answered the same question with ‘yep, almost every day’ which was similar to Warwick’s response of:
but would I regret it, in a way yes I regret it every day. I miss the certainty of the day to day activities. I miss the pay packet. I’ve never been able to sort of replicate the pay and advantages that we had while we were out there. I mean you’ve got guys up at the mines at the moment they’re earning $130,000, $140,000 a month, a year sorry, but life away from home up there is not the same as what we had as life away from home on a ship.
Generally, the participants provided responses that rationalised their decision. They knew that they made the decision for a reason, whatever that may be, and were able to apply that logic to any feelings of regret. It was harder for those whose reason for leaving had changed. For example, Warwick had left the service because his wife wanted him to, and then he separated from his wife. Matthew left the State and therefore left the service, but did not stay out of state and ended up back in the service location. However, most were accepting of the situation. Their tone and emotion in their voice when discussing this part of their lives was not always positive, sounding more like they were accepting of their situation rather than happy with it. It is important, however, to acknowledge those participants who left because of medical issues who were able to express that they cannot regret leaving because their health demanded it. Even Natalie, who was forthright in her regret, also stated ‘I know, I know deep down that I have made the right decision for me to leave, I know that I could never go back’. This is an unfortunate situation for most participants and is expected to be a contributing factor to their lack of satisfaction in their post-service employment.
There were several participants who directly answered that they had no regret leaving. In reviewing their responses, the combination of their individual reasons for leaving, and their reported job satisfaction in post-service employment, appear to provide reasons for regret; but they verbally discount any regret. This is a positive outcome and potentially bodes well for future employment satisfaction if one hurdle, that is them regretting leaving, is not present. For other participants, it was not a matter of regretting leaving, but they openly expressed how much they missed the job. They did, however, acknowledge that this is possibly because they remember the good times and forget the bad times. Some participants admitted that their spouses often reminded them of the bad times when they were having moments of potential regret. Others still, did have regret and acted upon that regret, by returning to service. After leaving for a second time, they were better able to put that regret aside.
Across the three service groups, former emergency service participants spoke most fondly of their time in service and regretted most the loss of camaraderie. The former military participants expressed both ends of the spectrum. They either truly regretted leaving or had no regrets at all and would not hesitate to make the same decision again. The reasons behind the differences in this for the military participants, based on their reporting, were primarily to do with rank and postings and individual experiences within the service. Finally, the former police participants expressed general levels of regret but always combined with an acceptance that the decision could not have been anything different. This was most often tied to the medical issues that prompted their leaving. There was no identifiable distinction between the genders with regret of leaving.
Understanding participants’ regrets was a significant part of understanding their position on their former service job. For example, where the participants may have answered the question ‘did they regret leaving?’ with a resounding no, some were still able to say yes to the possibility of going back. This seemed to be a contradiction. However, what soon became clear is that the participants could willingly say that they would go back in if the opportunity presented, because they were confident that an opportunity would never present. This was not directly identified by individual participants, but an analysis of their overall responses revealed this finding. For example, those on medical discharge with diagnosed PTSD are not employable by these service organisations. Therefore, the question is hypothetical, and this may have affected the data in this area. Alastair explained it best when asked would he want to go back, stating ‘Um I do but, I do, it would be impossible’ and acknowledging that ‘everyone advised me against, the medical people, everyone would think I’m crazy’. Jasper described his thinking as ‘I like to say that but every morning I keep finding yes I am injured’, which is similar to Barry who explained ‘Would I go back in now? I think my brain says yes but my body says no’. Although a number of participants could actively identify why they could not, or would not go back, Warwick was one of the most convincing, saying ‘I made a conscious decision that I wouldn’t want to go back’.
Staying in Service
On this matter, indirect questioning addressed whether each of the individual participants would still be in service if the specific event that preceded their leaving had not occurred. This is of particular relevance for those participants who left for medical reasons, because if they had not been diagnosed with PTSD, or did not suffer the symptoms of this kind of mental health issue, or had not been physically injured, whether they would still be in the job may be a significant factor in their future job satisfaction. When asked, Charles disclosed ‘Yeah definitely. Probably be on my fifth tour of Afghanistan. Having just got back from it’ and Paul enthusiastically responded ‘Oh no I would have stayed, I think… I wouldn’t have left for that, I would not have left. I can’t say I wouldn’t have left ever’. Julie also shared these sentiments, stating ‘I probably would have, I would have probably kept it going further and more, yeah I probably would have went along but obviously, you’ve got no choice in the matter’, together with Walter who said ‘probably not, probably I would have stayed’. Kim was more reflective in her response stating:
I think I probably would have liked to think that I wouldn’t be, but I probably would be... It’s pretty scary getting out, and I think that’s why a lot of people do stay, because I had thought of getting out, and I hadn’t, so yeah it’s hard to say. Those thoughts had crossed my mind, but, but I don’t know if I would’ve taken that final step.
Warwick and Neil would also still be in, with a resounding ‘absolutely’ and ‘definitely, most definitely’, respectively.
It is important to capture their sentiments in this matter. It influences the way in which the data is understood in terms of their voluntary separation from their service job, which in turn helps in continuing to build an understanding of the pre-existing factors influencing their post-service job satisfaction. It can be summarised as follows. Individuals from each of the services have some common and some unique reasons for leaving the service job. In addition, some of the individuals across all services, and from both genders, regret leaving, whilst most can rationalise the decision. And, finally, more individuals than expected, across all services and both genders, would possibly still be in their service position if the choice was available.